Empty Wallet
Right now, and for what feels like the majority of my life, I am faced with a cash shortage. As long as I do my chores, I get allowance every week. Yet somehow, whenever I open up my wallet it’s woefully devoid of any friendly dead presidents. There seems to be a step missing in the chain of events leading up to this sad state of affairs, because I remember getting my allowance and putting it in my wallet. I suppose that either I am imagining getting that money or, more likely, I spend my allowance on frivolous things throughout the week. So why do I still keep my wallet with me most of the time, when I know that either it’s already empty or that I am incapable of not spending all of the money inside? To me, having my wallet with me makes me feel more mature and independent. Right now, I’m at a transitional stage in my life. No longer a kid, but not quite an adult, I try to do things that make me feel more adult-like in my mind.
I remember as a little grade-school kid I didn’t even have a wallet. I just kept whatever small amount of money I had all jumbled up in my pocket. But I remember how when I turned thirteen I got a wallet for my birthday. I immediately took my money out of the jar it was in previously, and put it in my wallet. I felt so mature, so grownup, not needing to grab a fistful of money out of my pocket and having to un-crumple all of it. Now instead I get to open up my wallet and, if it’s not empty for a change, I get the pleasure of pulling a bill out and paying nonchalantly, like I buy things all of the time. Being able to do that is part of what I associated being an adult with at that age, since adults are always the ones with money. I keep my usually empty wallet with me at all times, just so I can pull it out and see if I have any money and nonchalantly pay for things I really don’t need and shouldn’t be buying anyways.
