BS
No, I’m not talking about a Bachelor’s Science degree. I’m talking about bullshit. I spend a large portion of my day engaging in it. I have the unfortunate combo of being smart and lazy. This results with me wanting to do as little work as possible in school, and also believing that the work given is either unnecessary or unworthy of my attention. But obviously, I can’t do absolutely nothing in school and still make it through honors and AP classes. The perfect solution to this is a thick coating of bullshit surrounding most things I do in school.
The process of shitification starts first thing in the morning, with math. I can honestly say that I am paying attention (as in, actually listening to the teacher and maybe even writing things down) about five or ten minutes per day. The rest of the time is spent on various stimulating activities like sleeping, reading, or rushing to finish homework due in another class later that day. Yet despite my inattentiveness, I still manage to do well. This is possible through the magic of BS. Instead of taking my own notes, I just ask some more responsible person in my general vicinity to let me copy down the formulas that I slept through. Instead of trying to solve the problems we’re given in class, I glance at them, write down a number that could be somewhat close to the answer, and then go back to whatever I was doing before. I’ve found that the easiest way to deal with having work to do is to simply not do it. This behavior continues, in varying degrees, throughout the entire school day. I would say that, in any given day, I probably spend at least three-fourths of that time BSing. This makes the day seem so much more bearable, which is why I think that the ability to BS is one of-if not the most- important things I carry. Without this life-saving skill, I would be hard-pressed to make it through a day without dying of either boredom or of being overworked.
Obviously, teachers are not very fond of bullshit. I imagine that they find it very frustrating that students like me think that they are too good to do the work. Some teachers simply do not accept BS though. I remember last year I had Mrs. Schmidt for english last year. Last year I was especially bad (or good, depending on your viewpoint) with BSing things. I would always try and half-ass her essays and assume that I would still get a good grade because I am a good writer. However there was a flaw in this plan: Mrs. Schmidt also knew that I was a good writer. Because of that, she refused to let me slide by and not use my writing abilities to their fuller potential. Schmidt’s anti-BS policy was the best thing she could have done for me, because it made me actually work and get better at writing. I’m extremely grateful to her for being the first teacher to basically tell me to “cut the shit” and start working harder.
