Chronic Laziness
They say the first step is acceptance, so here it goes. I suffer from a case of chronic laziness, or CL for short. I have the classic symptoms: I am not motivated to do things that don’t sound like fun, I avoid strenuous activity at all costs (besides sports, which is an anomaly when talking about this disease), and I spend large amounts of time sitting on various couch-like objects in a slightly dazed stupor. This unfortunate illness is suffered by many across the globe, and is a serious problem. So far, I have yet to discover a cure, but I think that I may be able to counteract the CL with an even greater amount of laziness. After all, two negatives make a positive. So, in order to further my studies on the all-important task of discovering this elusive cure, I will completely dedicate myself to the cause! I will not sleep, will not eat, until I have cured chronic laziness!
…On second thought, I think I’ll make a sandwich and take a nap instead.
In all seriousness, I have noticed that when I am faced with a non-fun task that requires some sort of effort, it is much more difficult to accomplish. It may not be the wisest management of my time, but it definitely makes things a lot more fun!
Adults just don’t seem to understand the sublime joy that is laziness. For some reason, when my parents see me sitting on the couch instead of doing the dishes, they get angry instead of simply appreciating my extreme levels of comfort. Although I think that this lack of understanding is merely a facade that my parents put up, because I’ve seen my dad act in an extremely lazy fashion on a regular basis. Like me, he enjoys sitting on the couch for long periods of time, or even taking a snooze on the hammock. Faced with this physical evidence, there can only be one logical conclusion: that parents have a double standard. They tell us kids that we shouldn’t be lazy and should do things like chores and homework, while they themselves find opportunities to be lazy as much as possible. Perhaps this is because there is a finite amount of laziness in the world, and the adults want it all to themselves?! This is probably true, but I believe more research is necessary to complete my hypothesis
